I was quite shocked when a bloke in the gym says ‘Oh Charlie you’ve put on weight’.
After being taken back for a moment I replied ‘Yes I have put on weight; I’m trying to gain muscle‘
The man says ‘Oh is that what people do now is it?’
I replied ‘Well that’s what I want to do yes’
I shouldn’t have, but I felt pretty shit about myself after the comment he made. Maybe in his eyes I looked worse? Or was he just stating an unnecessary fact to make me feel like shit? Who knows?
My goal at the time was to increase muscle mass and strength so yes I had gained weight. I had gone from an unhealthy 10% body fat with a flat chest, zero hips and messed up hormones, to a healthier, happier 18% body fat with an increased muscle mass and metabolism.
I personally want thick thighs and a bubble butt. Some girls want a thigh gap and skinny legs. Some people are more than happy to be a little overweight. That is fine! Everyone is different. Isn’t that the point? The world would sure be a fucking boring place if we all looked the same.
What is perfect? Perfection is stupid and no matter what you do in life you will never be perfect. Nobody is perfect! We have this idea of perfect in our minds which we constantly strive for yet do you know anyone that ever gets to the point where they say ‘I’m perfect now’.. Maybe a few arrogant ass holes but really they have self esteem issues behind closed doors.
Here are 7 reasons body perfection sucks:
1. Nobody’s perfect is the same
My idea of ‘perfect’ will be completely different to yours. I aspire to look like strong girls with muscle where as you may aspire to look like Kim Kardashian? Or Keira Knightley..
2. Perfectionism brings upon negative emotion
Perfectionism brings upon self-doubt, depression, social anxiety and fear of rejection. Perfectionist often set the bar too high and never hit these unrealistic achievements.
3. Perfectionist don’t have a middle ground
Perfectionist either need something to be 100% or nothing at all. They will either have a perfect gram for gram macro counted diet, or binge eat all the junk food. They will either kill themselves in the gym or not bother going at all. There is no acceptance of the middle ground which is actually the healthiest place to be.
4. You will never be perfect so you will never be happy
‘I will be happy when I have a thigh gap’… ‘ I will be happy when I have abs’.. Trust me, you won’t be happy. You will always set the bar higher. You will hit your goal, gain your abs, reach your body fat percentage, yet you will still find flaws in yourself which need to be improved. You will never be happy living this way.
5. Negative hunter
Being a perfectionist makes you hunt out the bad things which need to be improved. It will push you to find the not so perfect things in everything.. family, colleagues and partners . This can really affect your relationships with people as you are constantly looking for the negative things in them.
6. Increased body fat
The perfectionist is usually a stress head, constantly striving for perfection. This will increase the levels of cortisol (stress hormone) in your system which will cause fat retention and muscle loss.
7. You are not perfect
Lastly, you are not perfect. Nobody’s perfect. You will never be perfect. Learn that you are a human not a robot and sometimes things don’t always go 100% the way you want them too. Accept that and allow yourself to be okay with 90% some of the time rather than beating yourself up.
“You are not your bra-size, nor are you the width of your waist, nor are you the slenderness of your calves. You are not your hair colour, your skin colour, nor are you a shade of lipstick. Your shoe-size is of no consequence. You are not defined by the amount of attention you get from males, females, or any combination thereof. You are not the number of sit-ups you can do, nor are you the number of calories in a day. You are not your moustache. You are not the hair on your legs. You are not a little red dress.
You are no amalgam of these things.
You are the content of your character. You are the ambitions that drive you. You are the goals that you set. You are the things that you laugh at and the words that you say. You are the thoughts you think and the things you wonder. You are beautiful and desirable not for the clique you attend, but for the spark of life within you that compels you to make your life a full and meaningful one. You are beautiful not for the shape of the vessel, but for the volume of the soul it carries.”